The Magnolia Chain is a treasured tradition at Mississippi University for Women, or what was known as Mississippi State College for Women when my mother graduated in 1950. Most people just call it the W now, and to the horror of its well-heeled alumni of belles, the university currently admits men. I’m guessing that the tradeoff to a guy having a diploma from a former all-women’s college is the 500:1 female to male ratio on campus. That definitely stacks the odds in the boy’s favor, even if he does have to endure almost certain ribbing from his buddies over his hilariously fuzzy gender identification.
It’s not that MUW’s administrators and Mississippi state leaders don’t recognize the fallacy of implying a particular gender for admission when that is not actually the case, but the Steel Magnolia Chain of former graduates is a formidable foe who collectively refuse to support a change in name of their beloved alma mater. It’s tough to wear down a magnolia chain. Actually, it’s pretty much impossible.
They didn’t agree to Welty University, which would have given a nod to probably the most famous woman writer from Mississippi, or even Waverly University, a name long associated with rich southern history. In either of those cases, they could have retained the nickname of the W, which made sense to everyone except those demure but determined graduates who apparently pull all sorts of strings, including those of the state purse. So, the answer was a resounding no.
At any rate, the time-honored Magnolia Chain ceremony takes place outside on the lawn, before graduation exercises. Back in 1905, the state flower was selected for the chain, as it represented purity of achievement and growth. White for purity and green for growth. Graduating seniors line up to carry a long line of magnolia leaves and blossoms as they create a friendship circle, all the while singing the Magnolia Chain Song. Only in Mississippi…
In my mother’s day, those graduates were the cream of the crop of Mississippi ladies, educated in the very critical social arts of gentle conversation, entertaining, and good marriages, with a side of serious studies thrown in. They were Mississippi’s magnolias, versed in southern sisterhood, tact, and infinite grace. And they were tough as nails, Scarlet O’Hara style.
According to tradition, any graduate who is able to grab and dislodge a magnolia from the chain after the ceremony is sure to have good fortune and romance. The only problem with that scenario is that early in the life of the Magnolia Chain ceremony, there were always fewer flowers in the chain than graduates. And you can be assured that each graduate intended to leave with a magnolia.
And I hear that many of them did, but only after forgetting all about that southern sisterhood and grace they had spent years attaining, and making a mad dash to ravage the chain while shoving one another, stepping on hands, and spraining more than a few ankles. And then, rising from the fracas, straightening skirts, and brushing hair back into place, the victorious few collected their manners and their prized magnolia and called it a day. Getting what you want if at all possible is a valuable lesson learned somewhere along the way.
The fracas was obviously a problem, so today the chain has the same number of magnolias as graduates. The only competition on view is to see who is the first to pluck a blossom, which can also get pretty raucous but is probably not quite so determined a dash. No one goes home empty handed of fortune or romance.
My mother left with more than fortune and romance. She wound up with a wonderful family that included me. The fact that she was one of the few who didn’t even fight for a flower makes her no less a member of the elite Magnolia Chain of Mississippi belles. And actually, most of her education in Chain membership occurred on the front porch, not in a classroom. Because although paperwork from the W might testify to membership in the Chain, you actually don’t even have to be an alumnus of the university to link in. You just have to listen and learn, no matter where you are.
Sort of like the Masonic Lodge, the Chain is full of ceremony and secrecy and unwritten rules of behavior. And it’s not reserved just for those from Mississippi. They’ve expanded the membership to include any woman, or I suppose any man since we are now open admission, committed to the heritage of good grace and mannered living.
And although there is no written manual, we all know a few guidelines by heart…
- Never write or post anything you don’t want to see on a billboard on the interstate.
- Always write a thank-you note for just about anything that was not expected. And make it handwritten.
- Uncomfortable silence is the best response to any slight from a spouse or family member. The more uncomfortable, the better, until they cave. Of course, an apology from them should be immediate and heartfelt before the silence is lifted. (As I can personally attest, my mother was a master at this one.)
- Never wear white shoes before Easter.
- Learn to make homemade brownies or biscuits or caramel cake. Even if it comes from a box, never admit it and make it your signature dish. Just don’t give the recipe.
- Always get your way but don’t be obvious about it. And stop short of hurting anyone else, as that’s in very bad taste and not mannered at all.
- Don’t be afraid to compete with anyone for anything, be it a job, education, promotion, or place in the carpool line, but do it with tact and grace. The end result is the same, but others think a whole lot more of you when you’re not pushy.
- Always say thank you when complimented. That’s all. And always give compliments, but only if you really are impressed with something.
- Carry yourself with good posture. It makes you look younger and more confident. And make eye contact with everyone.
- Be grateful for everything every day.
- Be a lady (or gentleman) and always watch your language.
- The less said, the better. You can get your point across in a lot of ways that don’t always require words. See the previous bullet point. (This one is best learned and perfected just by living, but it also requires the most skill and restraint. It’s tough to master.)
There are, of course, subsets to those rules that require a lot more space than the quick guide given here. You have to get the complete manual for more definition, which is a bit difficult because it’s not actually published and Amazon doesn’t carry it.
There is no secret handshake and you don’t pay club dues and it doesn’t really matter your gender. If you’ve lived near or with a Magnolia Chain member, though, you know it and you’re absolutely committed to carrying on the tradition and honoring the unwritten protocol. And you’re perfectly willing to gracefully scrap for a magnolia, as long as no one is hurt in the process.
