It amazes me that even here, in the Heart of Dixie, so many people confuse real banana pudding with something that just isn’t. Real banana pudding is cooked custard layered with Nilla wafers and sliced bananas. The vanilla wafers have to be Nilla, not some knock-off store brand. The only real deviation in the recipe that is allowed is meringue or no meringue. There are definitely two schools of thought on that one. I belong to the no meringue group, but I’m not willing to suggest that the meringuers aren’t authentic. That’s just a slight preference call that is absolutely allowed.
My mom had a thick oval-shaped brown Pyrex bowl with a matching lid that was always used for only one thing. Many cooks might reserve a bowl like that for a hot dish such as baked beans, but this bowl was only used to hold real banana pudding. Now it’s mine, and it maintains the same purpose. When that bowl is in the refrigerator, no one needs to ask what’s in it. It’s the banana pudding bowl.
There are other banana pudding recipes, of course, most of which are shortcuts that busy people like to take. Instead of cooked custard, some of those travesties propose instant vanilla pudding or even worse, powdered gelatin dissolved in ice water and then mixed with sweetened condensed milk. That concoction is from a New York bakery that specializes in cupcakes and banana pudding. I’d suggest just perfecting the cupcake recipe or maybe branching off into cheesecake. But New York should definitely stay away from banana pudding.
Instant just isn’t real food, so instant pudding is a no go for real banana pudding. In fact, in most cases, instant food is no match for anything a cook would want to present family or guests. Not to sound extreme, but I’d say the same for most things canned. It’s true that you can get canned barbecue, but do you really want to? I’m not sure where instant coffee comes from, but I don’t think a coffee bean was involved, and instant mashed potatoes shouldn’t even be considered a food choice.
As a young housewife, my mom joined the women’s canned and instant food movement of the 50’s and 60’s, which opened up a whole new world of time and space for those busy homemakers. We enjoyed frozen pot pies for supper with a dessert of twirly cinnamon rolls that were popped out of a paper tube. The pantry was filled with cans of tuna, Campbells soup, Vienna sausages, and anything with Chef Boyardee on the label. Swanson made the best TV dinners and I absolutely loved Mrs. Smith’s cherry pie with the thick pastry that browned to a delightful crunch but was the devil to cut those little slits through before baking.
It’s hard to believe now, but we even learned to love Lipton’s Instant Tea. Simply stir in a spoonful of that grainy powder, and just like that, you’ve got a glass of tea. No kidding. It sort of had a twang to it, but you got used to it and before long forgot what real tea was supposed to taste like.
The space race gave us Tang, which turned out to be not only a delicious instant orange drink but could really put a shine to a toilet bowl when used as a cleaner. Betty Crocker masterfully boxed up her homemade cake recipe, making her a star player in just about all of our backyard birthday parties. And kudos to whoever molded those crunchy sweet edible cake decorations that were peeled off the cardboard backing before being artfully arranged on the top of a birthday cake, spelling out “Happy Birthday” and providing sturdy support for the flickering candles.
So I grew up on instant and boxed and canned and I’m still here, so I wouldn’t say those choices are deadly, just maybe not the most creative or tasty.
But it didn’t stop there. The quest for instant gratification led to the unfortunate widespread use of the pressure cooker, which is a sealed pressurized pot using superheated water and steam to cook in a fraction of the time required on a stovetop. I’m not always the most mechanically inclined, but even my feeble calculations led me to conclude that a pressure cooker might not be the best idea if you valued your skin and life in general. Something about pressurized superheated water, I think. That conclusion was set in stone when a pressure cooker blew up in my mother-in-law’s kitchen, creating an immediate need for emergency services and a stint in rehab for her.
And instant is apparently not going away anytime soon. You can buy the Instant Pot today and use it in your kitchen tonight. It’s promoted as “the smart, multi-use, programmable pressure cooker designed by Canadians with the objective of being convenient, dependable, and safe.” I’m conflicted about that. I like smart and multi-use, and I’m definitely partial to safe, but programmable and pressure raise all sorts of red flags related to simplicity and safety.
One reviewer raves about the fact that she can make bone broth in her instant pot in a fraction of the time previously required. I can’t remember the last time I thought I might need to make bone broth, but if that thought ever comes to mind, I’m sure I’ll consider an instant pot. Maybe Canadians spend more time with hot bone broth than Americans. It is a lot colder there.
But before being too judgmental or cynical, I searched for a banana pudding recipe using an instant pot. That’s the real test, of course. And sure enough, I found one. But get this. It uses not only sweetened condensed milk, but also instant vanilla pudding mix. No cooking on the stovetop and no egg yolks. You’ll be adding whipped cream to the mix, though, and layering it all in a trifle bowl. The only thing real about the recipe so far is that it does require real Nilla wafers. You can be picky about the vanilla wafer brand but not care about the cooked custard? Small graces.
That recipe comes from a web site for instant pots called Pressure Luck and is billed as Instant Pot Banana Pudding. But in the first paragraph, it’s touted as a recipe that doesn’t even require an instant pot. Wait. It’s an Instant Pot recipe that doesn’t require an instant pot. I’m really confused. Or maybe just too simple.
But then I understand completely. The author reports that the recipe is inspired by the Magnolia Bakery in New York City. Well of course it is. The same bakery that makes banana pudding with ice water.
Like I said, New York really should stick to cheesecake. Let’s be real.
